The Mail Online
'If you sleep with a guy on the first date, you're 50% less attractive in the morning': Controversial 'love guru' who says YOU'RE to blame if he cheats
PUBLISHED: 10:11 EST, 3 June 2014
Have you ever wondered what men find sexy? Why some have trouble with commitment? What makes them happy?
One astrologer and life coach, who interviewed hundreds of men for her new book, claims she has learned the secrets of their souls and now she's eager to share them with the women of the world.
Linda Joyce, who describes herself as 'a one-woman powerhouse for people looking for a pragmatic strategy to solving difficult personal problems,' has just penned The Man Thing: One Hundred Interviews with Men and thinks she's cracked what makes men happy.
Linda, who interviewed hundreds of men - ranging from her local coffee shop assistant to hedge-fund owners - about their views on dating and love, said: 'I was curious about how men were dealing with the changing role of women in society and it's safe to say that I am amazed at how traditional men are.'
Linda shared certain points she thinks we don't - but ought to - know about men with FEMAIL. Her first piece of advice? 'Just tell men what you want, when you want it. 'Men just want to please us but we are so hard to please. Women just expect a man to know what they're thinking but they won't have a clue.'
Linda, who has starred on 20/20 with Barbara Walters, the Howard Stern Show and The Late Show with David Letterman, also believes that men deny, rationalise and lie - all because women don't accept the truth.
'Women live in a fantasy world,' she says. 'Women want men to rescue them but they can't.' Linda believes that while women refuse to give up if they don't get something, men simply shut down. 'Men shut down and we think it's because they don't care but it's actually because they care so much that they just don't want to mess up and disappoint us.’
'Emotionally, they can't say no and they'd rather not commit to saying anything than let us down. They'd rather a woman think they're an idiot than be honest.'
Clearly working with so many men has made Linda sympathize with them - she firmly believes that women contribute and help create these problems for men.
'We want them to be emotional but they just can't be, end of,' she maintains.
Linda has also offered her insight into the male psyche and believes the male bravado is all a front.
'Men live fake lives,' she proclaims. 'They pretend to be someone they're not, they've been trained that way and feel the need to be competitive but they always come up short compared to others - that's why men's suicide rates are higher.'
Aside from Linda's musings on what makes men tick, she also shared her advice for impressing a man. Rule number one? Don't sleep with him on the first date!
'Men want to work for you, it makes them feel strong. My research shows that while a lot of men won't necessarily judge you for sleeping with them on the first date, there's no way they'll have a long-term relationship with you or take you home to meet their mother.
'Men are blinded by lust, it's their drug. Your evening together could be full of passion and lust and he may tell you you're the greatest girl in the world but I can guarantee he will wake up and find you 50 per cent less attractive in the morning.
'He will wonder if you do that with every man, he wants to feel special and not used,' she explained.
Linda also believes that confidence is the sexiest attribute a woman can posses because a man loves a woman that is 'in touch' with herself and 'doesn't need rescuing'.
'He doesn't like slutty dresses, nor heels we can't walk in and he absolutely hates desperate women. Oh and by the way, men under 29 only want you for sex.'
So you've impressed the guy and followed Linda's rules...so why does he cheat on you? 'They cheat because women don't make him feel like a man and then they shut down. Women try and over feminise their men so they cheat.
'They're not angry at their wives but angry at themselves for letting a woman try and change them,' she said.
Linda, who is divorced and describes herself as 'one of the women' she writes about, also believes that men don't even seek happiness in a relationship.
'Men don't value happiness,' she argues. 'They want things to be in order and when there's no problems, they're happy. When they can't handle it, they become selfish and cut themselves off.
'Men are very good at compartmentalization. They can have their wife and family in one box and their lover in another. Extra-marital sex is a release for men, not a betrayal.'
Linda, whose client list includes well-known celebrities and international business titans, is convinced she knows what she's talking about. 'I've saved a lot of lives,' she says.
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