Do You Have It? 


We admire others who can shape their world, people who get attention or somehow get what they want regardless of the odds. It’s a shared desire, this need to be in control, and yet very few people seek to understand the true nature of power. Instead they embrace its by-products: quick money, success and strength through force. When you believe that power comes from something outside of you, then you have condemned yourself to a life of powerlessness. Haven’t you noticed that those in high places are often the most insecure; they’re struggling to hold on to what they have, rather than live comfortably in their truth. 

There is a path to power and it’s not an easy one; you have to have a set of values you live by and a truth you will stand up for in spite of your fear of rejection.  Most of us surrender out of fear: fear we won’t get the job, fear we will lose our job and fear our relationship won’t work if we challenge it. Yes, you might lose one of the above, but then it wasn’t really yours -- it belonged to fear. Don’t attack others, don’t point out their faults, just set your boundaries and ask for what you need to be true to yourself. When you criticize others you become their teacher or mother and they will resent you and defend themselves rather than hear what you have to say. Focus on your needs; ask for proper compensation for your job, for clarity in expectations, for respect from your partner and work on giving these things in return. 

If your present life is based on fear, then turning it around will demand a strong commitment. No one will believe you when you suddenly refuse to accept their inappropriate behavior. By keeping the focus on what you need, before you get what they want, you’re taking your power back. Someone has to respect your wishes before you engage in their life. In the past you may have given your time, love and effort away and gotten nothing in return. You may have felt helpless because no one heard you. Let me remind you, you were not listening to yourself. Others dismissed you and you still gave them what they wanted. Why should they pay attention? Life is based on consequences. If there are none, then no one listens. Do not try and punish others; that’s a misuse of power, just set your boundaries.

Whatever you fight for now is yours forever. Give in and it’s a temporary gain, one that will be relived over and over again through sacrifice. Sacrifice too much and you become a victim. Take the risk for your truth and confusion will fade and suddenly difficult situations will no longer leave you feeling helpless - - you’ll know what to do. Your truth will give you the power to go through the ups and downs of your life, so value and commit to it even when it may mean you don’t get what you think you want. So often the prize you desire is really a hidden nightmare.

Having a truth is what gives you faith and faith is the source of real power. I’m not talking about religion, I’m referring to your spirit, the part of you that refuses to be manipulated or controlled by someone else’s truth. The reason most souls do not have faith in themselves is because they lack self-worth. They want approval and love and don’t realize that until you learn to love yourself, others won’t pay attention to you the way you want them too. As long as you are looking for what you need in someone else, you’re in trouble. When you learn to give those things to yourself, when you don’t need them from others, you can receive them from everyone.

Without self-esteem it’s easy to become a victim. If you’re not a victim then you could become a victimizer, using your anger to lash out at others because you’re not fulfilled. Greed is low self-esteem on the offensive. Those who acquire this temporary and false sense of security never feel satisfied for long. When you can stand alone you never have to. Growing beyond the need to please others is the first step to personal power. Why should you need permission to live your own life, pursue your own dreams? If you seek out approval, you’ll lose your strength and your focus. Others pay attention to those who pay attention to themselves.

To wield power properly you have to have made peace with your ego so it doesn’t lead you on a wild goose chase. It’s there to serve you, not the other way around. The ego will keep you isolated, fearful and immature. You have to realize that you are not alone, that you are connected to a greater universe. When you understand that helping others is not losing your power, it’s how you strengthen it, but don’t forget to include yourself. If you only give and ignore your own needs, then you will never be powerful, because power comes from you. And one last thing, give up perfection. Can you make a good choice, not a perfect one? Can you be in the moment and say “No” to what you don’t want and “Yes” to what you do. Can you reward others for their help and receive help when you need it? If you can do all of this, then power will be a blessing not a curse.